Church Hurt: Part Two
The Leadership
The Leadership
On the flip side, it’s important to acknowledge that the leaders of the church are just people. They are imperfect. They make mistakes. They have feelings. They are human. Hurt people hurt people, and that’s true in the church, too.
Yes, there are wolves, but most people have good intentions. They might have said the wrong thing or reacted instead of responding, or are dealing with something we don’t see. They have families, complicated dynamics, and problems that might cause them to fall short. They have bad days.
Around 95% of pastors deal with conflict within the church. The conflicts are often centered around issues of control, direction, anger, defensiveness, and being overwhelmed. (Christianity Today)
Also, 38% of pastors have left their pastoral positions due to conflict. (Christianity Today)
Another interesting statistic: around 35% of pastors have only been in their positions for five years or less. (LifeWay Research)
I share all this to say that leaders in the church experience church hurt, too. They minister to a congregation of people who are often shopping for the best message, the best pastor, the best community… and if they fall short in one area, people walk away. If they fail in any way… people leave the church.
That has to be a tremendous amount of pressure!
No one lives a perfect life. Of course, we hold any leader to a higher standard, but if perfection is the standard who could live up to that? I couldn’t. I’m sure you couldn’t.
It’s only fair to give grace.
Romans 3:23 ESV
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
A Biblical Perspective
If you read 2 Corinthians, you get to see a glimpse of Paul being human. Although Paul wrote 13 (possibly 14) books of the Bible and planted churches in at least six different regions, there were still people who doubted him.
These “Super Apostles” were turning the congregation against him because of his appearance and speaking abilities. He established apostolic authority by responding with humility and grace. Instead of boasting about his abilities, he chose to be vulnerable and share his weaknesses, trials, and suffering with the people of Corinth. He boasted about how Jesus transformed him and used every weakness for the gospel.
Can you imagine risking your life to minister to a group of people… to care for them and love them so deeply, only for them to turn on you?
I’ve never planted a church, but I have had friends in the past who I loved and cared for turn on me because of what someone else said. Someone who didn’t even know me, my character, or what I’ve been through was able to change their perspective. It broke my heart. I was devastated because I thought they knew me. I thought they knew my character.
I imagine this is exactly how Paul felt. Hurt.
2 Corinthians 11:23-28
Part 3: The Church
I know this topic is extremely sensitive, so thank you for being a part of the conversation. I’d love for you to tune in next Saturday, where I’ll be speaking on church hurt from the perspective of the church.
P.S.
I hope you found this post to be helpful in your walk with Christ!
Please feel free to comment below and share your own personal notes! I truly believe that the Lord uses scripture to speak to each of us in different ways, so I would love to engage with my readers and learn more about your perspective. My goal is to create an engaging community where we feel comfortable sharing our thoughts and growing together in fellowship.
Thank you!
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Sources
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
Christianity Today. "More Pastors Are Leaving Ministry Over Church Conflict." Christianity Today, Apr. 2024, https://www.christianitytoday.com/2024/04/pastor-leave-church-conflict-hartford-church-health-survey/.
Cuss, Steve. "Church Hurts for Pastors, Too." Christianity Today, Mar./Apr. 2025, https://www.christianitytoday.com/2025/03/being-human-church-hurts-for-pastors-too/.
LifeWay Research. "Pastor Attrition Study 2021." LifeWay Research, 2021, https://research.lifeway.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Pastor-Attrition-Research-Report-2021.pdf.
Rainer, Thom S. "10 Traits of Pastors Who Have Healthy Long-Term Tenure." LifeWay Research, 22 Sept. 2016, https://research.lifeway.com/2016/09/22/10-traits-of-pastors-who-have-healthy-long-term-tenure/.