Church Hurt: Part One

The Congregation

Apr 12, 2025

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This topic has been on my heart for quite some time. I wrote this comment on a social media post, and it has received almost 2,000 likes so far. I don’t care about the likes, but I care that it resonated with so many people.

For the sake of transparency… this is something I haven’t personally experienced. I have been blessed to have so many wonderful spiritual leaders and mentors in my life. But this topic has reared its ugly head in conversation so many times, and I never knew how to respond… until now.

This is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life… People will let you down, but Jesus won’t!

We are the body of Christ. It’s truly devastating to realize how many souls could be lost because of our words and actions. How common it is for people to turn away from Jesus because people hurt them. It’s a very real problem that deserves to be addressed with love and care.

Proverbs 18:21 NLT

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

The Congregation

Research states that 27% to 33% of adults in the United States have experienced some sort of religious trauma. (Global Center for Religious Research)

Due to its nature, this topic is likely underreported. So, I would assume this number is actually much higher. There is a common theme of sexual misconduct, spiritual abuse and manipulation, and misconduct in leadership, ranging from moral failings to finances, and abuse of power.

I can’t imagine the trauma that would come from a leader in the church sexually abusing you. My heart truly breaks for anyone who has experienced this. I know there is nothing anyone could ever say to heal that wound.

But Jesus can.

I have experienced sexual abuse, but I’m grateful it never tainted my relationship with Jesus. He is the one who healed my trauma. If it had happened in the church, by someone I trusted, I would’ve rejected anyone or anything that reminded me of that moment. I would’ve been repulsed by it.

There are wolves in sheep’s clothing. There are people out there who prey on the vulnerable. Those who take advantage of the innocent. God will take vengeance on them and hold them accountable. So you don’t have to hold that hate in your heart. It broke His heart, too. He despises those who harm His children.

Romans 12:19 ESV

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

Another major theme that I have noticed from social media and reading about other people’s experiences with church hurt… is spiritual manipulation.

Fear-mongering.

Now, the Word does say that we should fear God. We should have a healthy respect for the King of Kings and the creator of our universe.

I heard someone relate it to the fear we have of disappointing our (loving) Dad. Not this idea of a mean and angry God that is waiting for us to fail so He can damn us to hell. He is not a mean kid with a magnifying glass ready to scorch us like ants.

He is your Father, who loves you, and He is a King that deserves our respect and praise.

God did not give us the spirit of fear. We should not live in an anxious state, constantly worrying if we have done enough to perfectly please God. There will be days when we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. That is exactly why He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. He hates that we sin, but He knows His children, and He loves them.

I am so sorry if someone who was appointed as a leader in the church misled you. I’m so sorry if you spent your entire life terrified that you will make a mistake and burn in hell because of it. I’m so sorry if you deal with trauma every time you read scripture or enter a church.

You are loved, and you are forgiven… all you have to do is run to Jesus, repent, and accept the gift of everlasting life. Jesus already paid the price, and all of heaven will rejoice when you turn to Jesus.

I want to leave you with a few scriptures for reference:

1 John 4:18 NLT

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.

Matthew 23:13 NIV

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

Isaiah 30:15 NIV

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.’

Part 2: The Leadership

I know this topic is extremely sensitive, so thank you for being a part of the conversation. I’d love for you to tune in next Saturday, where I’ll be speaking on church hurt from the perspective of leadership.

P.S.

I hope you found this post to be helpful in your walk with Christ!

Please feel free to comment below and share your own personal notes! I truly believe that the Lord uses scripture to speak to each of us in different ways, so I would love to engage with my readers and learn more about your perspective. My goal is to create an engaging community where we feel comfortable sharing our thoughts and growing together in fellowship.

Thank you!

Every like, share, and subscription brings me one step closer to publishing my devotional—so thank you for being part of this journey with me! Your support makes all the difference, and it truly means the world to me!

Sources

New Living Translation (NLT)

New International Version (NIV)

GCRR Study on Religious Trauma:
Global Center for Religious Research. Religious Trauma & Religious Trauma Studies. GCRR, https://www.gcrr.org/religioustrauma.

Discussion about this post

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